We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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