I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
