I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
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