We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
should my penis look like a turkey
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
