Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
no you cant smoke seaweed
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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