My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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