and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
