So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
