sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
