You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
