It's like God shit irony all over that family
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
