? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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