So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
