u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
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Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
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There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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