I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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