i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
