Are we in a gay sports bar?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
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