Me too!
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
