Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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