The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
This baby is an asshole
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life