Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.