someone threw a dead crab at me
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me