Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize