WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
