he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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