I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
