My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize