She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
