I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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