i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
