She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
