i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
