i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize