I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
