If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
