a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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