i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize