is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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