shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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