Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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