Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I came so hard my ears popped.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize