If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
