i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
