Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
