Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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