As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
