I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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