theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
