Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
