in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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