Are we in a gay sports bar?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
