It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
