even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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