The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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