I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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