Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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