ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Dignity is for republicans.
Dating After Heartbreak
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.