We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
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Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
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I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down