i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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