You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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