the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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